Spike Milligan Died Everything I know about England, I learned from my Dad and his incessant playing of his precious Goon show records. Where else could a pudgy four year old learn about the war, the channel, the germans, batter puddings, snivelling upper-class twits, and little men named Eccles. A classic exchange: Minnie Bannister: Help Henry - I've been struck down from behind. Help. Henry Crun: Mnk - oh dear dear. Poor Minnie. Police, English Police, Law Guardians... Minnie Bannister: Not too loud, Henry, they'll hear you. Henry Crun: Police of the law. Fx: Police whistle Fx: Whoosh! Seagoon: Can I help you, sir? Henry Crun: Are you a policeman? Seagoon: No, I'm a constable. Henry Crun: Oh, what is the difference? Seagoon: They're spelt differently Minnie Bannister: Ohhhhhh, help me differently spelt constable. Seagoon: Oh! What's happened to this dear old silver bearded lady? Henry Crun: She was struck down from behind. Seagoon: And not a moment too soon. Congratulations, sir. Find the full script and more here.